…Continued from last Saturday
As di two sisi dem wey siddon for di backseat of my guonguoro dey nack dia tori, me, I jus dey do like say I too concentrate for steering, like say I no hear anyting wey dem dey talk.
Di yellow sisi say e been dey carry hot Agbo for head dey waka everywia dey sell teletele, but one day, e come siddon dey tink weda na Agbo e go dey sell all im life. E say weda na di chechere money wey e dey get e go take do beta ting for life. E say na im e come stop to dey sell Agbo. E say now, everyday, e go jus buy recharge card, take call all di bobo dem wey im know. E go tell dem say e dey hungry, e never chop since morning. E go do like say di hungry dey worry am well well.
If e call like 10 bobo, no how no how, dem go wire 5k to im account each. Dat na 50k for one day o. Anoder day e go call anoder 10, and so on and so on. Check how much e dey make every month.
Di second sisi come dey talk im own. E say im own trap for bobo dem na banger. E say na everyday im Mama dey die – Mama wey don peme since wen di sisi be 2 year old o.
E come talk say, everyday, e go call bobo dem one by one, begin cry and tell dem say e receive message from village say im Mama jus peme and e wan travel.
E say na di bobo dem go dey beg am make e no cry, dem go begin wire money to am. Some go wire 20k, some 50k, some 100k sef. Dat one na only for one day o.
Anoder day e go call anoder set of bobo dem. Check di money e dey make every month.
And wen two months don pass, e go begin call dem again say burial don reach. Na so money go dey drop again like rain.
Wen we reach Balogun market, dem come down for car park. I look time, 10 O’clock am in di morning don nack. Na so I wait ti-ti-ti-ti until 2 O’clock pm in di afternoon nack wen Aboki dem carry all di tings wey di two sisi buy for market come.
My broder, if you see di orisirisi tings wey dis two sisi buy, governor wife sef no fit buy am. Dis na sisi dem wey no dey do any work o, only to set trap for bobo dem.
I open my guonguoro boot, dem put all di load. Di load wey no fit enter boot, dem put am for seat inside.
As I dey drive dem back to Ikeja, I jus dey talk am for mind say make Eledumare save man pikin dem for dis Lagos.
Helep me say Amin!
Make we jam again next Saturday.
Tank you
Tank you very much
And tank you very, very much indeed.
*Created by Sunny Okim, Oga MAT (Day-to-day experiences of a Lagos taxi driver) is the longest running Pidgin column in Nigeria’s media, since 1994.
