If dis our Naija no kill man pikin, man pikin go kill Naija.
Everyting don turn upside down for our contry. Light no dey as national grid dey collapse everyday, money no dey, food no dey. And di one wey worry me pass na petrol. To buy petrol now na like gold. And without petrol, na im be say we taxi driver no get work again be dat.
Everyday, na so we go siddon for our garage wey dey near Ikeja Under Bridge, from morning till night, no passenger go show face. People no get money to enter taxi again. Tori Olorun!
Na so I siddon yesterday for garage dey tink ti-ti-ti-ti. 12 O’clock pm in di afternoon don nack, no passenger. 1 O’clock, 2 O’clock, di same ting. Kilode?
If I close for evening begin go our house for Abule Egba, wetin my family go chop? And na weekend we dey.
Na im I quick, quick use my head do arithmetic. I enter my guonguoro, drive am go di order side of di under bridge wey danfo dem dey load passenger go Maryland. Na so I stop, come out, open all my door down. Agbero dem for bus stop come dey hail me, “Oga MAT wetin happen o! Why you comot for taxi park come join danfo dem for bus stop? Twale!!!”
I ask dem weda dem no see as Naija be now. I say passenger dem no dey near our garage again from morning till night. I tell Dem to begin load my guonguoro, di same money wey danfo dey collect to Maryland. I give di four both of dem N500.
Before I open eye sef, my guonguoro don full – two passenger for front, five for backseat. Dem even ask weda make dem put passenger for inside boot. Olorun Oba o!
I don carry my passenger dem dey go be dat. One passenger drop for Police College, one drop for Ikeja Country Club junction, two drop for Abule, one drop for Leventis. And as dem dey drop, na so I dey carry anoder passenger like danfo.
Everybody come down for Maryland. Na so I turn my guonguoro face Ikeja, begin call passenger dem again.
My broda, as I reach our garage, my pocket don full. I jus use style begin go Madam Shine buka to take My Usual before I go house.
Man pikin no go come peme for dis Naija.
Make we jam again on Saturday.
Tank you
Tank you very much
And tank you very, very much indeed.
*Created by Sunny Okim, Oga MAT is the longest running Pidgin column in Nigerian media, since 1994.
