Noting wey di son of man no dey see for dis our taxi driver work. Na im make my wife Bose dey talk am say taxi driver work na Ashewo work.
And wen e talk like dat, I go tell am, “Go to court”. Me sef go tell am say “On your mandate”. Na so di two both of us go come laugh. But weda or wedan’t di laugh reach im belle, na im sabi.
Since dis year show face, Sikiratu wey tell me say e wan go do Keresimasi with im mama for village, never come back even as I dey nack una dis tori so. E call me last week say e go come back dis week, but I don dey call am ti-ti-ti-ti, network no gree.
As I go drop one passenger like dat for Ketu yesterday, I look time, 8 O’clock pm in di night don nack, I say instead make I begin drive go our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge, make I kukuma go Madam Shine buka near Airport hotel, go relax small, before I come dey go my house for Abule Egba.
As Madam Shine jus see me like dis, na so e jump for my body. I ask am weda Sikiratu don come back. Madam Shine face change, e ask me weda na Sikiratu I find come, abi I come to enjoy mysef. I tell am all of di above. E say, okay, Sikiratu never come back, so di next ting na for me to siddon and enjoy.
Di time wey I go dia, customer never plenty. Madam Shine come siddon with me, e tell one of im salesgirl make e bring My Usual for me, plus including one Odekun for am.
Before I drink half bottle sef, Madam Shine don finish two bottle of Odekun. Tori Olorun!
Small time, Madam Shine begin rob my face, hold my hand, take am rob im own face. From im face to neck, to chest, to belle, den to im boys quarters. Di woman carry sha, make I no lie.
Na so e tell di salesgirl make e bring Point-and-kill for me and one plate of Nkwobi for am.
Small time, customer dem begin come plenty. I see say, wen one man like dat come, Madam Shine rush im drink and quick quick finish im Nkwobi. Na so e lef me, go siddon with di customer wey jus enter.
I look time, 10 O’clock pm in di night don nack. Olorun Oba o!
(To be continued)
Make we jam again next Saturday.
Tank you
Tank you very much
And tank you very, very much indeed.
*Created by Sunny Okim, Oga MAT (Day-to-day experiences of a Lagos taxi driver) is the longest running Pidgin column in Nigerian media, since 1994.
