(Response from readers)
My people, since I begin nack una di tori above, di son of man no rest again. Na so readers dey bombard me left, right and center, sote, di battery of dis my torchlight chinko phone don nearly peme becos of plenty message.
And e come be di time wey our national grid jus dey faint, wake up, faint, wake up, faint, wake up. Tank Eledumare say person dey for standby wey dey pour di national grid water for head wen e faint, if no be so, e for don faint, e no go wake up again lai lai.
Petrol now na gold, I no fit talk say make I go buy petrol put for my I-beta-pass-my-nebor gen take charge phone. Dat one na no go area, wen be say di petrol no dey reach my guonguoro sef to take do my taxi driver work.
Na di ting wey bring plenty message from readers, becos of di tori wey I nack say, “Wahala everywia, me sef wan go vacation”.
Make una follow me read wetin readers talk:
Dear Oga MAT,
Dis one wey you don use two weeks dey tell us say you wan go on vacation becos of too much wahala for your house, shey no be say you and Sikiratu get plan so? How you wan abandon your wife Bose and your two woman pikin dem – Bisi and Funke, jus becos small wahala dey house? I no blame you. Na our Oga patapata wey im, plus including im second, don run go enjoy for oyibo land and lef us for Naija make hungry finish us. Na dem I blame. Na dem teach you bad ting.
– Bukky Ayobami
Surulere, Lagos
Dear Oga MAT,
I don dey pray long time ago make you give small chance make man fit enter your house go check out your two woman pikin dem – Bisi and Funke. I wan do dem dat ting wey you dey do dat buka girl, Sikiratu. After all, anyting wey good for di goose, is good for di gooser. Abi no be so? Biko, go on dat your vacation and remain for dia. We no go miss you at all, at all.
– Chibuike Uzodinma,
Owerri,
Imo State.
Dear Oga MAT,
Which day you and Bose go know say una don old? How di two both of you go dey disturb una pikin dem for midnight, every day, sake of say one person wan do kini di order person no wan do? Make you and your wife try respect una self for dat Baba Briamoh face-me-I-face-you
house wey una dey live for Abule Egba. Shege banza!
– Abdullahi Adamu
Maiduguri,
Borno State
Dear Oga MAT,
Di ting wey I go tell you now be say, if your wife Bose no dey gree give you dat ting again, lef am. Me, I dey kampe. Abeg, come my house come do vacation. I go give you everyting wey you wan. Wetin you wan take dat old mama do sef wen sisi wey everyting for body stand paparapa like Standard Bank dey wait for you here? I go send my house address to you after later.
– Osareti Odion
Benin City,
Edo State
Dear Oga MAT,
You tell us for di tori wey you nack us for last two weeks say you wan go vacation becos say wahala full everywia. Why nah? I beg you, no go anywia becos your tori too dey sweet me, mbok. No tell me say wen you go for vacation you go dey work from anywia you dey. I know say dat one na big lie. Na so Baba and im second tell us but see, everyting for Naija don scata finish, sote national grid don collapse 4 times now inside one week. But you o, I go do everyting to make sure say you no go anywia. You wan try?
– Akon Etim
Uyo,
Akwa Ibom State.
My people, shey una see wetin I mean? Na di ones wey I fit show una be dat o. Di message plenty too much. Tori Olorun!
Now, I confuse. I no know weda or wedan’t to go on vacation.
Make we jam again next Saturday.
Tank you
Tank you very much
And tank you very, very much indeed.
*Created by Sunny Okim, Oga MAT (Day-to-day experiences of a Lagos taxi driver) is the longest running Pidgin column in Nigeria’s media, since 1994.
