•A Face-me-I-face-you house
This article examines the positive and negative effects of living in a ‘Face-me-I-face-you’ apartment, reports Nigeran Tribune.
Face-Me-I-Face-You’ houses have been existing for generations, particularly in Nigeria’s South-west region. It is also commonly known as “Face-Me-I-Slap-You” due to common disputes occupants of such buildings experience.
These buildings provide residential accommodation in lower-income neighborhoods. They typically consist of single-room apartments or a “room and parlour”. These buildings feature shared facilities such as kitchens, bathrooms, and toilets.
The name ‘Face-Me-I-Face-You’ originated from the design where rooms are arranged in two rows facing each other. Residents in the left wing share amenities among themselves, while those in the right wing do the same on their side. Each row may include up to five rooms or even more, accommodating as many as seven individuals per room.
This communal living setup presents both challenges and opportunities.
In an interview, psychotherapist and Chief Executive Officer, Diamondmoor Psychological Consultant and Services, Olukolade Olugbemi, explained that living in such apartments has its positive and negative sides. According to him, the negative aspect of living in such apartments overrides the positive.
He said, “Living in such apartments has positive and negative effects. Generally, the positive effect is that it brings closeness because it often gives a sense of interconnectivity and togetherness among the people. It makes children learn how to navigate life which we call street wisdom. It also gives social learning opportunities to people, where they can see the experiences of others and understand.
“So it helps people have understanding of how things go, so they don’t need to fall prey to understand its consequences.
“However it has its negative effects which can be overwhelming and override the positive.
“One of the things that comes with it is that there is the stigma of poverty. Poverty itself brings a lot of deprivation.
“Another problem is lack of privacy. Every individual has that desire to have a sense of personal space. That is taken away when you are living in a one-room apartment or in a ‘Face-Me-I-Face-You’ building.
“Also another problem associated with it is the exposure of children to things that they should be protected from. These include bad habits like sexual immorality.
“Sexual abuse leads to trauma and you know adverse childhood experiences are part of the problems that lead to mental health problems. These are some of the things that come the way of children living in such apartments.”
Olugbemi added that living in such apartments can lead to sleep deprivation. He said, “Though this might not be a major mental illness, it can lead to major mental illness.
“One of the effects of living in such an environment is that it does not give the residents ample time for academic endeavours which has been noted to be one of the indices for success in life.
“Of course, being academically successful does not mean one will be successful in life, but one of the major indices all over the world which shows that people have become successful.
“Other consequences of living in such environment include overcrowding and poor sanitation that comes from this environment, while everyone who lives there tries to move to a better place as soon as possible.”
Also in a chat with our correspondent, Mr Bola Adewole, who lives in a ‘face-me-I-face-you’ apartment at Oke Ado, Ibadan, was of the opinion that the apartment is good for someone who loves to live in the midst of people.
According to him, there are lots of benefits attached to such apartments aside from being cheap. He added that the apartment gives an opportunity of having someone to take care of one’s children when not at home.
He added that the apartment had once saved the life of one of his neighbours who was living alone and was critically ill for days, but unfortunately, couldn’t go to the hospital for proper care. He was saved by one of the neighbours who noticed in time.
“This apartment has saved someone’s life in our house. On this particular day, everybody was going about their businesses when someone suddenly noticed an unusual silence in the person’s place. He was checked upon only for us to discover that the person had been critically ill for some days in his room and was unable to walk to the hospital. He was rushed to the hospital by us, his neighbours. So if he was living in a flat where everyone minds their business, he might not survive it because no one will notice his absence,” he said.
He argued that living in such apartment does not have any negative effect on his children as he always camps them in his own apartment and does not have any neighbour who would serve as a bad influence to his children.
“I don’t know about others, but this face-me-I-face-you apartment I am living is a very good one because we don’t have anybody with a bad behaviour who can serve as a bad influence to my children. No one fights here, steals or smokes because our landlady does not tolerate such habits. My children are doing fine and I have never noticed any bad behaviour in them,” he said.
However, also speaking with our correspondent, Alenibare Lateef, a tenant of a ‘face-me-I-face-you’ apartment in Soka area of Ibadan, explained that the apartment has a lot of bad influences. According to him, there is a lot going on in the apartment which could serve as bad influence on children.
He said, “You see, this is an apartment that can truly serve as a bad influence for children. For example, in a house very close to my house yesterday, two prostitutes who were neighbours in a house fought themselves breaking bottles, cursing each other, while the children in the house stood there watching the fight. What lesson did you expect such children to learn from such a situation! “These are some of the things we see here, unhealthy competition, hatred are daily experienced in this place and that is what led to the popular name given to the generator ‘I better pass my neighbour’.
“In this case, you will see everyone buying a small generator because someone bought it and was disturbing them with the noise from the generator, thereby leading to noise and air pollution. Honestly, this happens at times when there is no power supply and the whole tenants in the house will turn the house into an industrial area, especially at night. Honestly, I prefer a flat to this but unfortunately, I can’t afford a flat for now.
“So a flat apartment is the best, you will be there and there will be no one to disturb you, you use your kitchen alone and toilet without sharing with anyone, and it is also good because everyone mind their business there,“ he said.
Also, in an interview with Mrs Abimbola Mayowa, who also resides in such an apartment, she stated that the negative effect of living in such apartment is more than its good. According to her, children, learn bad things while playing with other children except they are engaged with so many activities after school hours.
She added that it is also a bad thing for parents to live in a room with their children but should at least rent a room and parlour which will permit their children to sleep in the parlour while the parents sleep in the room.
She added that other challenges associated with such apartments include non-cooperation among co-tenants, gossip and hatred among others.
She said, “Life in a ‘face-me-I face-you’ apartment is not a good one, because children tend to learn bad things while playing with some corrupt children of co-neighbours unless one engages them with some activities after school hours to keep them busy and away from other children.
“It is also a bad thing to sleep in the same room with children because they learn some of the things practised by their parents, so the disadvantages of living in this apartment are more than its advantages.”
