When I dey grow up for our village for Ogbomoso dat time, na im I hear people dey talk about America Wonder a.k.a. Abracadabra.
But as I run comot for my village come Lagos in 1965, becos say Arike Papa wan use African Insurance finish me say na me give im pikin belle, jus becos me and Arike dey siddon for di same table for Standard 5 for our village night school, na im I come dey hear boju boju. Dem say America Wonder, Abracadabra and Boju Boju, na di same ten and ten pence.
Di ting be say, I no come know wetin dis gofment dey take NEPA do. Before before, na darkness NEPA dey generate. My area Abule Egba na im woss pass. We fit dey for one year, NEPA no go even flash light sef. Na wen I reach our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge I dey manage charge my chinko phone becos say dem dey give our garage light small, as e be say e near Alausa.
Di order day, gofment talk say light now get category. E say Grade A dey, Grade B dey and Grade C and Grade D dey. Dem list name of orisirisi area dem wey dey inside each grade. Dem come talk say from now on, only people wey dey for Grade A wey NEPA dey give light yanfu yanfu, go dey pay plenty money.
As govt jus talk dat one finish, e no reach two day, na im I come dey see light berekete for Abule Egba. I say shiooor! So, NEPA fit give light like dis?
Di ting wey I come see now be say, if I buy light unit for my meter, na so di ting dey run like craze person. If I buy today, tomorrow di ting don dey show red again. Tori Olorun!
Now I dey even dey beg NEPA make dem dey take di light small, dem no gree.
I don tell my wife Bose, and our two woman pikin dem – Bisi and Funke – say make dem dey off all di light for house. But upon dat, di NEPA bill still dey run like tap water. Olorun Oba o!
Abi, Abule Egba and Lekki now, na di same Grade A for NEPA eye? Shey, no be America Wonder gofment dey play us so? Di more you look, di less you see.
Abeg, helep me tell dem say, I no beg dem for any Grade. I dey my own jeje, make dem carry dia jibiti grade go back o.
Na taxi driver work I dey do, I no dey follow kidnap people and take millions as ransom.
Make we jam again next Saturday.
Tank you
Tank you very much
And tank you very, very much indeed.
*Created by Sunny Okim, Oga MAT (Day-to-day experiences of a Lagos taxi driver) is the longest running Pidgin column in Nigerian media, since 1994.
