As tings come be now, na im be say all of us wey dey for Naija no know wia we dey go again.
Na so I carry one bobo like dat dis week go drop for Gbagada Estate. As we comot for our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge, we no even reach Alausa wen di bobo begin shout for back seat wey e siddon. Afraid catch me, I think say weda im village people don find am reach for inside my guonguoro. If to say I no be ogbonge taxi driver wey hand strong gan, I for go jam electric pole for dat road. Olorun maje!
I match break fiaaam! I clear for dat Secretariat road and park. I turn back and ask di bobo wetin happen. Instead make di bobo answer me, e jus dey shout dey go, “Na wetin we do dis Baba o! Shey, dis Baba come kill everybody for Naija finish? Tori Olorun!”
I come dey beg di bobo make e calm down tell me wetin happen. I ask am which Baba wan kill Naija people finish and how (JAMB question).
Na dat time di bobo tell me say e jus read for news inside im phone say gofmen don dey plan to increase petrol price again. E say Central Bank sef say everybody must to pay extra money for ATM. Even NEPA sef wey im national grid dey faint every minute don add money. Dat one sef no do, my passenger also talk am say to make phone call or send ordinary sms now you go pay double. Tori Olorun!
Me sef come begin shout my own. Di bobo sef no fit control me again. Na so di two both of us come begin dey cry like two small pikin dem. And na so we come dey tell oursef “sorry o, sorry, no cry again, e don do. God dey. We no go peme lai lai”.
I come open my ignition, start di engine again, put am for gear one and begin dey go small, small till I go drop di bobo for Gbagada Estate.
As I begin drive back to our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge, I jus dey talk am for my mind say, wia we dey go for dis Naija?
Better petrol no even cost like dis teletele, na so, so hungry people dey hungry, sote Naija people come put am for song say “Ebi n pa wa ooo!”.
And true, true, since last year, Ebi don pa plenty people.
Di petrol wey we dey buy now sef, water better pass am. If I buy petrol full tank before, e go last for four days, and if I manage am well, e go last one week sef. But now, if I full my tank in di morning, before 12 O’clock pm in di afternoon nack, di hole tank don empty. Olorun Oba o!
Since dat day, I don park my guonguoro for our compound wey dey for Abule Egba. I write am put for on top say “For Sale”. If na to sell Pure Water to take feed my family, I ready to sell am. Wetin be say person get taxi, e no fit buy petrol to take drive am? No be juju be dat?
Abeg, if you know person wey wan buy brand new Naija second-hand guonguoro, tell am say I dey. No be tokunbo o. I go give you somtin inside di money wen di person pay.
Make we jam again next Saturday.
Tank you
Tank you very much
And tank you very, very much indeed.
*Created by Sunny Okim, Oga MAT (Day-to-day experiences of a Lagos taxi driver) is the longest running Pidgin column in Nigeria’s media, since 1994.
