Una kukuma remember say, as Keresimesi near last year, na so all dose Lagos sisi dem dey come dey rush me make I do Keresimesi for dem.
I talk am for my mind say shiooo! Shey, na me dem born for Keresimesi?
My broda, na so I took off o, I no show face again for our garage since dat Keresimesi. I know say dem go don go find me tire. For wia! Me wey don go pack my guonguoro for our house for Abule Egba!
Na yesterday wey be second day for dis New Year I say make I show face again for our garage since dat Keresimesi.
All our union member dem happy to meet again since last year. But some never come back sha. Emeka, Akpan and Mutiu still dey for dia village, I no know wetin dey hold dem, weda or wedan’t dem no see money pay transport come back Lagos, even after Baba don talk say e go pay half of dia transport money for dem.
But we wey remain for Lagos happy to meet again, no be small. Our union Chairman Jimoh, our Treasurer Idowu and me Oga MAT wey be Akowe, our own na no leave, no transfer. Na we be di real original Lagosians!
Na so di three both of us come dey pray for oursef dat yesterday for garage. Everybody come dey talk im New Year re…reso…resolu…resolut… Abeg, una know wetin I wan talk, make I no come bite my tongue becos of oyibo. Wetin I mean na New Year swear.
Jimoh say e no go marry anoder wife join di 8 wey e get already.
Idowu say e no go nack any sisi again dis year, as e be say any sisi wey e jus meet once must carry belle and born twins, and na so e don get pikin every corner for Lagos.
My own swear be say, dis year o, if any sisi like make e turn im head upside down, na only my wife Bose, di mama of my two woman pikin dem – Bisi and Funke – I know. Any order woman na fake.
Wen I swear like dat, Jimoh and Idowu begin laugh. I ask dem wetin make dem laugh, na im Idowu ask me if I no wan Sikiratu again.
If you see di kind eye wey I take look Idowu, hmm, if small pikin see my face dat time, e must to get confulsion.
I know say all of dem for dat our garage don dey eye my Sikiratu, dem dey pray make me and my Siki Babe no dey again so dat dem go rush am. But Eledumare no go answer dat dia wicked prayer. Helep me say Amin!
Make we jam again on Saturday.
Tank you
Tank you very much
And tank you very very much indeed.
*Created by Sunny Okim, Oga MAT (Day-to-day experiences of a Lagos taxi driver) is the longest running Pidgin column in Nigeria’s media, since 1994.
