Every year by dis time, na so so Lagos sisi dem man pikin go dey see left, right and center. And all of dem wan make you do Keresimasi for dem.
Even all dose sisi dem wey no dey greet me for our street for Abule Egba, now if dem see me, dem go first smile, den dobale, and begin greet me, “Daddy Bisi, good morning sir. Well don sir. Shey work dey go on fine sir? Happy Keresimasi and Mary New Year in advance sir.” Olorun Oba o!
I don tire for all dis kind greeting sef every day. Dis na sisi dem wey no dey look my side rarara before o.
Di order day, Abosede come, di mobile buka girl wey dey carry Ewa Agoyin for head waka come sell for our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge. I tink say na market e come sell, I no know say e come tell me make I no forgot am dis Keresimasi.
Na so Jumoke, wey dey bring Monkeytail come sell for our union member dem like Mutiu, come ask me for di ting wey I go give am dis Keresimasi.
Aisha wey dey come sell hot Agbo for our garage, also do di same ting yesterday.
I say shiooo! Shey, na me dem born for Keresimasi?
Di one wey shock me pass na yesterday wen I don go drop my passenger for Idumota around 12 O’clock pm in di afternoon, come back say make I rest small for garage, na im one woman waka enter garage.
Wen I look di woman ti-ti-ti-ti, I see say na Madam Shine, di woman wey get di joint wey Sikiratu dey work and wey I dey go take My Usual for evening after work everyday. But since last week wey Sikiratu travel go village for dis odun wey dey come so, I no go Madam Shine buka. Na anoder joint I dey go nack My Usual before I begin go house.
I ask Madam Shine wetin happen wey make am come our garage for di first time. Di agaracha woman say e jus say make e come greet me.
Madam Shine begin ask me why e no see me since last week. I tell am say na work. E say na lie. E say na becos Sikiratu travel go see im one-eye mama for village.
E say make I dey come, say as e be say na im get di joint, e go treat me well. E say e go take care of me till January wey Sikiratu go come back.
I ask am wen I come, shebi na me go still pay for everyting I drink and chop, like point-and-kill. E say yes, plus including wetin im sef go drink and chop, like Cowtail peppersoup. Tori Olorun!
See Madam Shine wey dey finish like 6 Shine Shine Bobo, and e no go even be am like say e drink anyting o!
I come ask am say, wen I come, wetin im sef go give me. E say we go jus siddon dey nack tori like broda and sister, drink and chop. Dat’s all. I ask am wetin again. E say noting, say e don swear teletele say e no go ever do kini with im customer. But we fit jus siddon togeder dey nack tori, drink and chop, den wen time reach, I go my house go meet my family.
Na dat time I tell Madam Shine say I hear. I say I go dey come everyday even as my Siki Babe don travel.
Na so Madam Shine tank me well well, and begin dey go.
I come talk am for my mind say, so dis old cargo don see mumu. Emi ko.
Me sef don swear teletele say I no fit be ATM for any woman lai lai, especially for dis our Emilokan time.
Make we jam again on Saturday.
Tank you
Tank you very much
And tank you very, very much indeed.
Created by Sunny Okim, Oga MAT (Day-to-day experiences of a Lagos taxi driver) is the longest running Pidgin column in Nigeria’s media, since 1994.
