Since wen I run comot for my village for Ogbomoso come Lagos in 1965 becos of dat wicked Arike Papa, na today I here say pastor dem dey retire for work. Na wa o!
Dis morning, as I jus land for our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge, na im one oga like dat, with im wife and pikin, come meet me. E say make I carry dem go one church wey dey for Ilasamaja. E say I go wait for dem till dem finish di ting wey dem go do for di church.
I say no troublem. I tell am my price to carry dem reach for di church. I tell am say to wait for dem to finish, I go charge am per hour. E ask me how much per hour, I tell am. E say no wahala, make we dey go.
Di man siddon for passenger seat for front, im wife and pikin enter back. Na so I open ignition, start engine of my guonguoro, match trottle, and begin dey go.
Una kukuma know say petrol cost now, plenty people no dey put dia motor for road again, so road dey always free now. Go-slow no dey for Lagos road like before.
Before 20 minutes nack, we don reach Ilasamaja. Di church sef dey for dat Ilasamaja bus stop gan gan, for dat Oshodi/Mile 2 Expressway.
Come see as people full for inside and outside di church. I give my torchlight chinko phone number to di man, say wen e finish come out, make e call me to know wia I park.
As my passenger dem come down, I find one corner near di church and park.
As I dey inside my guonguoro dey wait for my passenger dem, I see say Area Boy dem full everywia. Four of dem come tanda near wia I park. Dem begin dey smoke igbo, dey drink dia sachet ogogoro.
One of dem come talk say e no go comot for dat place till dem finish wetin dem dey do for di church as e see say food boku.
Anoder one ask wetin be di ting gan wey di church dey do. One say na party dem dey do, say na di church pastor birthday and na today e don retire as e don clock 70. E say for dat church, any pastor wey reach 70 for age must retire.
After like 2 hour, na im my passenger dem come out. E be like say di oga see say I surprise as dem come out quick before church close sef.
As I open door make dem enter, di oga tell me say make I carry dem go drop for airport kia kia, say dem no wan miss dia flight to Abuja wey dem dey live.
Na wen we dey go for road di man begin talk say di pastor na beta person. E say di man na real man of God, and as e retire so today wey be im 70 birthday, e no put hand for any bad ting. Say na im make e come with im family to honour di pastor all di way from Abuja.
I come see say wetin di oga talk enter for wetin di Area Boy dem talk for wia I park dat time.
I no fit hold mysef, I ask di oga say so pastor dey retire?
Di oga say for dat church wey we jus comot so, dia pastor dey retire at 70, but dat for im own church, na 60 pastor dem dey retire.
I tell am say I never hear before say pastor dey retire. Di oga say no be every church pastor dey retire sha, e say but e good to dey retire for any work wey person dey do becos body no be wood.
E tell me say even dis my taxi driver work wey I dey do so, I suppose to don retire tey tey, go rest.
Na so I begin laugh ki-ki-ki-ki. I laugh sote afraid begin catch di man, im wife and pikin. Dem tink say I don kolo.
Na im I tell di man say, for taxi driver work, person no dey retire. I say once a taxi driver, always a taxi driver. I tell am say for our work, no leave, no transfer.
Dat time we don reach for airport. Di man ask me how much be my money, I tell am. E jus put hand for pocket, bring out bundle of brand new, tear rubber Naira notes and pay me.
I tank am and begin dey go back to our garage.
Make we jam again next Saturday.
Tank you
Tank you very much
And tank you very, very much indeed.
*Created by Sunny Okim, Oga MAT (Day-to-day experiences of a Lagos taxi driver) is the longest running Pidgin column in Nigeria’s media, since 1994.
