…Continued from last Saturday edition
As I look time see say 10 O’clock pm in di night don nack, I rush di last bottle of My Usual and Point-and-Kill, den tell Madam Shine make e give me my bill.
Madam Shine tell di salesgirl make e give me my bill. I say no, dat na Madam Shine go give me bill, and make e do quick, say time don too go, or else I go jus begin dey go my house.
Wen e see say my eye don red, na im Madam Shine come meet me.
E talk am small for my ear say why I wan spoil business for am? E say dat bobo wey I see so, promise am say if e gree give am kini, di bobo go give am 200k. E say na im make e no wan make di bobo see am siddon with me. E say na im new catch be dat. E say di bobo dey even dey call am for midnight for WhatsApp video make dem dey do kini for phone. Tori Olorun!
I ask Madam Shine weda im husband no dey house. E say im husband and dia five pikin dem neva come back since dem go village for Keresimesi. Olorun Oba o!
Madam Shine give me bill, put everyting wey me and im drink and chop – My Usual (2 bottles) and Point-and-Kill, for me; Odekun (5 bottles) and Nkwobi for Madam Shine. Hmmm, my broda, by di time I pay finish, na so all di money wey I work dat day, from morning till night, jus go fiiiaaa! Sope o tilo.
Na im make I warn all Papa and Mama say, if una man-pikin say e wan marry any sisi or woman wey dey work for beer parlour, take am go di place wey dem go do deliverance for dat your man-pikin, make im eye clear. Beer parlour madam and dia salesgirl dem, na di same ten and ten pence.
Make we jam again next Saturday.
Tank you
Tank you very much
And tank you very, very much indeed.
*Created by Sunny Okim, Oga MAT (Day-to-day experiences of a Lagos taxi driver) is the longest running Pidgin column in Nigerian media, since 1994.
