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Matilda Showbiz
Matilda ShowbizOga MAT

Scratch my back, I scratch your back (2)

The FrontierThe FrontierDecember 6, 2025 1512 Minutes read0

(Continued from last week)

As I open di door and follow

di two Soja, dem carry me go di two truck wey dem bring come. Dem bring 10 jerry can down. Dem say na petrol and na me get am. Na so dem drive comot, begin dey go.

I jus tanda for outside dia, everytin come be me like say I dey dream.

Na dat time my torchlight chinko phone begin ring, griiin, griiin, griiin!

I look am, I see say na Sikiratu dey call. I no pick di call becos my head never settle down. Di phone ring again, I no pick. E ring again, I say make I jus pick am hear wetin dis buka girl wan tell me dis morning, weda e no know say I dey for house.

I hear, “Hello my darling Oga MAT, shey Soja dem come your house? Dat petrol na me send di Soja dem make dem bring for you. Manage dat 10 jerry can dem, as you kukuma know say petrol no dey. I see last week wen you write say you don put ‘For Sale’ for your guonguoro becos you don tire for dis Emilokan time. Di ting touch me gan, na im make I say I must do somtin take support you as your Siki Babe. Abeg, no ask me how I take do am. Jus use di petrol for your work. No sell your guonguoro make your family no suffer, jor.” E cut di call.

As Sikiratu talk for phone finish, I open my mouth to talk, my mouth no gree open. I shock patapata.

How many Lagos sisi dem fit do dis kind ting? Dia own na give me, give me, give me. Dem no go ever tell you say take, take, take.

As Sikiratu save my guonguoro, na my life, my family, my work e save so. If tomorrow now I say make I give Sikiratu all my money, shey anybody go complain?

Na dat one be say, you scratch my back, I scratch your back. Na so dis life suppose be. No be only to collect, collect and collect; you no dey ever give. Tori Olorun!

See my Siki Babe wey me and im no even do kini before o! If we don do, make I baf naked for bafroom.

Make we jam again next week.

Tank you

Tank you very much

And tank you very, very much indeed.

*Created by Sunny Okim, Oga MAT (Day-to-day experiences of a Lagos taxi driver) is the longest running Pidgin column in Nigeria’s media, since 1994.

 

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