…continued from last Saturday edition
As I match break and pack my guonguoro for roadside, I tell di sisi make e come down, I no even remember to tie my shokoto rope back, I open my driver door and come down.
I turn go passenger door, I open am, say make di oloshio come down kia kia.
As I dey tell am to come down, instead make e come down, e dey open im skirt more more make I see im kini well well.
My broda, as I dey look im fine kini, na so my own kini come tanda paparapa like Standard Bank, and my body come dey shake like Shakespeare. Tori Olorun!
Di sisi come hold my kini as I tanda for im front, begin rob am. E carry am dey go im mouth again, na dat time my eye open fiiaam.
I ask mysef say wetin I dey do with ashewo for dis new year? I come begin shout for im head. I say make e come down quick quick before I show am say na me be original agbero for dis Lagos.
Di sisi see say my eye don red. E begin beg me say make I carry am go drop wia e dey go for Ogba, e say e no go do am again.
Na im I enter my driver seat again, open ignition, start engine, put am for gear, and begin dey go again.
Wen we reach for di place e wan drop for Ogba, I stop for am. E open door wan begin go down. Na im I tell am make e pay me my money. Di sisi say e no get money.
I say you no get money and you enter taxi? I ask am weda no be man house e from come dis morning. I say my own no be free business, make e pay me my money.
Na so di sisi begin spark. E say which kind yeye money I wan make e pay me again after e don pay me in kind. E say make I swear say I no look im kini and weda I no like am. E tell me say im own no be free business too. Olorun Oba o!
I come see say di two both of us no go gree for anybody dis year.
Na so I enter my guonguoro, close di door and begin go my way. I come talk am for my mind say abeg carry your wahala go, no be me and Ashewo for dis new year.
Make we jam again next Saturday.
Tank you
Tank you very much
And tank you very, very much indeed.
*Created by Sunny Okim, Oga MAT (Day-to-day experiences of a Lagos taxi driver) is the longest running Pidgin column in Nigeria’s media, since 1994.
