Di kind wahala wey man pikin dey see for dis our taxi driver work everyday, I don dey tink dis new year weda or wedant make I stop di work.
But di ting be say, if I say make I no do taxi driver work again, na wetin I go come dey do as I don dagba finish?
Since 1965 wen I run comot for my village for Ogbomoso come Lagos, I first be mecho apprentice, after dat, na taxi driver work I dey do till today.
Na di work I do take marry my wife, Bose, den we come born our two woman pikin dem – Bisi and Funke. Na di work I dey do get money to pay house rent for dat Baba Braimoh face-me-I-face-you house wey we dey live for Abule Egba.
Na di work I dey do wey I dey take feed my family, take care of dem and pay my two pikin school fees. Shey na now I go come change work?
Wetin my mouth see yesterday morning, my eye no fit talk am.
I comot for house, put my guonguoro for road dat early morning say make I begin drive go our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge, as I jus reach Pen Cinema, na im one sisi stop me. E say make I go drop am for Ogba. I tell am how much e go pay, e gree. I say make e enter. Di sisi enter front seat. Na so we begin dey go.
Di sisi open im hand bag, bring out mirror, eye pencil, lips stick, comb. Na so e begin paint im face dat early morning. I sure say na man house wey e go do night shift, e from come so.
Di next ting be say, e carry im blouse up, di two paw paw wey dey im chest show, di ting jus point like say e wan enter my eye. E say e forgot im bra for wia e go sleep. I do like say I no hear am.
Small time, e use style touch my kini. I ask am wetin be dat, e say make I no vex, say na mistake.
Small time again, e carry im mini skirt up, e look me to know weda I see wetin e do. E no know say I use corner eye dey look am.
E come carry im mini skirt up patapata make I see say e no wear dross. Tori Olorun!
Na dat time I come talk am for my mind say I don enter wahala for ashewo hand dis morning.
Di next ting be say, e hold my shokoto, pull di shokoto rope, bring out my kini. As e bend down to put my kini for mouth, na im I match break fiaaaam!
(To be continued)
Make we jam again on Saturday.
Tank you
Tank you very much
And tank you very, very much indeed.
*Created by Sunny Okim, Oga MAT is the longest running Pidgin column in Nigerian Media, since 1994.