Dis rain wey don come now for Lagos, shey no be wahala e bring come so?
Rain don dey fall teletele everywia for Naija since dis year show face, na only Lagos been remain.
Na now wey be say dry season suppose show face, na im rain don begin fall for Lagos. And e come be say cold don dey ground already, rain come join di cold. No be die be dat?
Yesterday morning, as all of us jus land for our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge, na im ogbonge rain begin fall. E come be like say di rain wait make all our union member dem arrive. Di rain fall ti-ti-ti-ti, from 7 O’clock am in di morning, e no gree stop till around 3 O’clock pm in di afternoon. And wen e do like say e wan stop, small time e go start again. Na so everybody jus siddon for garage, nobody gree put im taxi for road. Put your motor for Lagos road ke wen rain dey fall? If you try am, na im be say you, your taxi and passenger go jus see una sef for inside Lagos Lagoon.
As we siddon for garage inside dat rain and cold, our union member dem come dey take di ting wey go make dia body warm small. Trust Mutiu, e smoke Igbo like say tomorrow no dey. Our union chairman Jimoh and treasurer Idowu nko? Dose one buy hot Agbo from Jumoke till di Agbo finish patapata. Akpan, our social organiser dey one corner dey touch-touch di sisi wey run enter our garage as di rain begin fall. Emeka own be say, all di orisirisi satchet hot drink suffer for im hand, plus including cigar. No ask me wetin me I use shock mysef for dat ogbonge cold becos I no go tell you. Oyibo dey talk am say dat one na trade secret.
Na so everybody eye come red for garage dat yesterday as di rain dey fall. For evening time wen di rain come down small, everybody begin find im way.
I no get chance to branch Madam Shine buka dat evening to go take My Usual and from dia, see Sikiratu. I know say my Siki Babe go don wait for me tire. But I no fit go dia becos all di road don block after di rain. I jus dey find how I go reach my house for Abule Egba inside dat babanla Go-slow.
I manage reach house around 10 O’clock pm in di night. Tori Olorun!
As I jus park my guonguoro for compound, I lock all di four door and enter house. My wife Bose and our two woman pikin dem – Bisi and Funke – don already dey sleep. Everybody jus use heavy wrapper cover body inside dat cold.
Me, I no even comot my clothe, na so I jump inside bed wia Bose lie down dey sleep.
I use wrapper cover my body, cold still dey catch me. I use blanket, na di same ten and ten pence. I no come know wetin I go do again.
I turn body face Bose my wife. I touch am small, Bose no shake body. I use wan leg put for im body, Bose no jus move. I come carry im wrapper up, to use di wrapper cover di two both of us. My broda, come see as my wife use full force push me trowey comot for bed. Na so I fall for ground yakata, nack my head for ground pppossaahh!!! I nearly faint.
(To be continued)
Make we jam again on Saturday.
Tank you
Tank you very much
And tank you very, very much indeed.
*Created by Sunny Okim, Oga MAT (Day-to-day experiences of a Lagos taxi driver) is the longest running Pidgin column in Nigeria’s media, since 1994
