Di way dis our Naija be now, everybody don get sense by force. Since wen Emilokan carry price of petrol hang for up, we wey dey do taxi driver work don hear nwi.
If na only petrol, e for good small sef, but spare parts nko? Even to service motor na helele.
Na im make I dey always hold my guonguoro like egg make e no just drop for ground. If di ting spoil, dat one mecho dem go take me do ntanta.
I tank Eledumare for di passenger wey I carry yesterday. Di bobo come our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge, e say make I carry am for drop go Apapa Wharf. I tell am my price, e say no troublem, say make I just carry am dey go kia kia, say e dey for hurry.
Na so we begin dey go. As we dey go, di bobo dey make call, dey tell person say make e no comot for Wharf, say e dey road and e go reach Wharf in 10 minutes.
Dat time we never even pass Police College for Ikeja o. Tori Olorun!
I talk am for my mind say shioooor, some people sabi lie no be small. I say dis man name go be Linus or Lai sombori. Even if na aeroplane e take, how e go reach Apapa Wharf in 10 minutes wen e never comot for Ikeja? Olorun Oba ooo!
Na as we dey go for road, di man come talk say e dey rush go meet somebody wey dey wait for am for inside Apapa Wharf to sell empty container for am, say di man don dey wait for am tipe tipe and di man say e no fit wait again as time don dey go.
E say e no wan miss dat empty container, say e wan use am do house becos im landlord give am quit notice make e comot dis month end. E say e don tire to pay house rent to Lagos landlord dem, so e wan use di empty container do house wey e go stay with im family.
E also talk am say di water wey e dey buy for Aboki hand everyday don even pass di house rent becos im landlord no dey gree pump water for borehole, even wen e dey collect money from all di tenant dem every month to take pump water.
I ask am weda dem dey use empty container do house. Di bobo say make I siddon dia, say wen e finish to design di empty container turn am to flat, nobody go know say na empty container e take do house.
As we reach Wharf, di bobo pay me and begin run inside Wharf. I revise my guonguoro, begin dey go back.
I come begin dey tink wetin dat my passenger talk. If I fit use empty container do flat, why I still dey pay house rent for Baba Braimoh face-me-I-face-you house wey I dey live with my family for Abule Egba? And na every year Baba Braimoh dey increase di rent money.
If I tell una di kind money wey I dey pay Baba Braimoh for di small room and parlour wey we dey stay, you no go believe lai lai.
Na im I come talk say, I don tire to pay all dis Lagos landlord dem money for house rent wey dem dey increase anytime dem turn body. If I buy empty container carry go my village for Ogbomoso, go design am and turn am to flat like dat my passenger, sebi I don get my own house be dat. And I go dey for dia with my family dey do my taxi driver work, as landlord, abi na containerlord.
Anyway sha, weda na landlord or na containerlord, lord na lord.
Abi, how you see am?
Make we jam again on Saturday.
Tank you
Tank you very much
And tank you very, very much indeed.
*Created by Sunny Okim, Oga MAT (Day-to-day experiences of a Lagos taxi driver) is the longest running Pidgin column in Nigeria’s media, since 1994.
