I no come know how di son of man go take dey do dis our taxi driver work again for Lagos. If no be petrol wahala, na protest.
Di one wey dey give me headache now na di kind Go-Slow wey dey for Ikorodu Road.
Una kukuma know say Ikorodu Road na im be di main di main road for Lagos. If anytin happen for Ikorodu Road, na im be say all di road for Lagos don enter am.
Now, Ojota na no go area. Dem say dem dey build overhead bridge wey go connect Opebi/Allen for Ikeja. My broda, if you make mistake chuk head put for Ojota road now, na for dia you go sleep go. I swear!
Na so yesterday, as I reach our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge, one bobo come carry me for drop. E say e dey go Palmgrove. I tink, tink, tink which road I go pass, I come tell di bobo say make we take Oworonshoki, go pass Anthony bridge, come down near Town Planning, den begin go Palmgrove.
Di bobo gree, e enter for back seat. Na so we begin go.
My broda, as we jus pass Alausa, begin go Seven Up, to enter Toll Gate and begin face Oworonshoki, come see babanla Go-slow. In fact, dat one pass Go-slow, na standstill. Tori Olorun!
Ikorodu Road don block patapata dat morning, na so di ting come harmer Oworonshoki road. And to turn back, no way. Na for dia we dey till 1 o’clock pm in di afternoon nack. Olorun Oba o!
Fuel dey burn, engine dey run, my guonguoro dey cry dey go. Tell me, wetin man go come do for dis Emilokan time?
Before we fit see road reach Palmgrove, 4 o’clock pm in di evening don nack. As I jus drop di bobo, na so I begin find way come back and close for dat day. I no even branch Madam Shine buka sef.
Now di hole wahala for Lagos road don tire me. I wan begin do my own protest. Dis one na only me go protest, I no need anoder person make all dis Soja and Olopa dem no come begin fire dia gun. And since na only me, gofmen no go arrange Area Boys dem make dem come scatter everywia so dat dem go put am for my head.
Na one-man protest I wan do. Di only ting be say, I go use like 10 sisi dem make dem no wia cloth for body at all, at all, make dem jus carry placard waka follow me for back as I dey drive my guonguoro small small dey go for all di major road for Lagos.
Shey you see say my own protest go sweet gan. Area Boys o, Olopa o, Soja o, all of dem go like am sef wen dem see di naked sisi dem. All of dem go even join me dey protest sef. How you see am?
Make we jam again next Saturday.
Tank you,
Tank you very much,
And tank you very, very much indeed.
*Created by Sunny Okim, Oga MAT (Day-to-day experiences of a Lagos taxi driver) is the longest running Pidgin column in Nigeria’s media, since 1994.
