Noting wey man pikin no go use im ear see and use im mouth hear for dis Lagos wey we dey so. Tori Olorun!
E get sometins wey you go see, small time di ting go disappear, and you go tink say you see am for dream. But na lie, no be for dream you see am, na korokoro you see am.
I remember wen we dey for night school for my village for Ogbomoso before I run come Lagos in 1965 wen I dey for Standard 5 (no ask me why I run, you know), our teacher been dey call dat kind ting “Abracadabra”, “America Wonder” or “Di more you look, di less you see”.
My broda, dis week wey wan finish so, I see plenty Abracadabra, no be small.
On Monday, na so some people come our garage wey dey near Ikeja Under Bridge. Dem say dem wan charter my guonguoro for di hole week. Dem say dem wan do primary election on Wednesday, Thursday and yesterday wey be Friday.
Dem say dem go use dia party poster, take cover di body of my guonguoro, den I go dey go anywia dem send me to go carry dia member dem and order tings. I say no wahala.
I tell dem say my guonguoro don become official motor of dia party be dat, for di hole week. I tell dem say dat one na money o. Dem say money no be troublem for dia party, say dem be di ruling party, make I just tell dem how much I go collect.
I tell dem my price, dem gree. Na so dem bring out mint Naira cash from dia Ghana-Must-Go bag, pay me papapa. My broda, I shock.
Well sha, wetin be my own? Shey, no be money make me dey do dis taxi driver work?
Dem say make I give dem receipt. As I wan write di receipt, one of dem tell me di amount wey I go write. Na four times di money wey dem pay me o. Olorun Oba o!
I come talk am for my mind say, no wonder our Oga Patapata just dey take loan for oyibo hand per second per second. Abeg na so I hear o, no be me talk am o.
Na so I write di receipt give dem kia kia.
Before day break sef on dat Wednesday, I don comot for my house wey dey for Abule Egba, drive go di party secretariat. Work don start be dat.
(To be continued)
Make we jam again on Saturday.
Tank you
Tank you very much
And tank you very, very much indeed.
*Created by Sunny Okim, Oga MAT (Day-to-day experiences of a Lagos taxi driver) is the longest running Pidgin column in Nigeria’s media, since 1994.
