Di kind work wey I do for dis Sallah, I never do am since I start dis my Lagos taxi driver work.
Come see as I dey carry family dem go mosque like water. If I drop one family, anoder family go stop me make I carry dem. No do, no do, I go don carry like 20 family dem go mosque for different place for Ikeja and outside dat yesterday.
And as dem go pray finish, na so I begin carry anoder set of family dem dey go drop for dia house, one by one. E come be like say all of dem jus dey wait for me.
My broder make I no lie, my pocket full gan. But na my guonguoro suffer am becos say, dose woman passenger dem na orisirisi nyansh dem carry. Some of dem big pass Dunlop elite sef, sote wen dem enter my guonguoro, my guonguoro go nearly faint. But, shebi na money I dey find.
Na im make I quick close dat yesterday, go our house wey dey for Abule Egba. My wife Bose, and my two woman pikin dem – Bisi and Funke – shock as I come back house before 7 O’clock pm in di evening.
I jus pack my guonguoro, enter house, open my shokoto trouser pocket, bring out money give Bose say make e take go buy tings for market come cook better Efo riro soup and Poundo with Bokoto for di family, say after all na holiday all of us dey.
As I say make I run go wee wee for bafroom, come see long queue. E come be like say na all di tenant dem for Baba Braimoh face-me-I-face-you house wan enter bafroom di same time. Una kukuma know say, na public holiday, so everybody complete for house.
I no fit join di queue, I jus face one corner like dat near di bafroom wey dey for outside di main house, bring out my kini and wee wee. After all, I no be woman.
I go back to our room, siddon for chair to rest small make Bose come back come cook make I eat night food, di only ting wey dey for my mind dat time na make I move…
Ahmed jus drive im long truck enter our compound. As e clear di truck and park for one corner, I tell my family oya o, make we begin pack all our load put for di truck. Say we must move.
My second woman pikin, Funke wey im mouth dey always sharp, ask me say “Daddy, move go wia?”
I tell am say we dey go new house, say I don tire for dis Baba Braimoh face-me-I-face-you house wey I don dey live with dia Mama even before dem born. I come tell Funke say, if e no wan move with me, no wahala, but na im be say e no wan be my pikin again.
Na so we pack everyting put for di truck. I carry my family for my guonguoro and tell Ahmed to drive im truck follow me for back.
We drive enter our new house, mehnnn, come see fine house!
Di ting be like Palace – 3-bedroom flat, 4 toilet/bafroom for inside house, tiles everywhere!
I come talk am for my mind say, so na me and my family go now live for dis kind Palace? No more Baba Braimoh face-me-I-face-you house wahala. No more queue to wee wee, shit or baf. No more general kitchen, etc etc. Olorun Oba o!…
Na dat time I hear person tap me for shoulder say, “Baba Bisi, Baba Bisi, why you siddon for chair dey sleep? Wake up, I don come back from market since. I don cook di Efo riro soup and Poundo with Bokoto finish. Wake up and chop.”
So, all dis my move na for dream. Tori Olorun!
Make we jam again next Saturday.
Tank you
Tank you very much
And tank you very, very much indeed.
*Created by Sunny Okim, Oga MAT (Day-to-day experiences of a Lagos taxi driver) is the longest running Pidgin column in Nigeria’s media, since 1994.
