Replay
As tings come dey now, everybody must take im destiny for im own hand, if no be so, person go jus peme for noting. Say Olorunmaje!
Now I don decide say, anyting wey happen, instead make I jus siddon dey tink from morning till night, I go find how I go do make dat ting wey happen sweet for me.
Yesterday, I carry one passenger go drop for Oyingbo. As di bobo pay me and drop, I say make I put my guonguoro for revise and turn, na im my torchlight chinko phone begin ring. I no jus look di phone becos some Olopa tanda one corner for dat Oyingbo bus stop, dey find who dem go catch make dem use am do weekend.
Di phone ring again, I no still look am, I say make I turn my guonguoro finish. Di phone still ring again, dat time I don turn finish, face Yaba from wia I go begin go back to our garage wey dey near Ikeja Under Bridge.
So I look, I see say na my wife Bose dey call me. Afraid come catch me weda someting bad don happen for house.
I cut di call becos Bose no dey ever gree say e get credit for im phone. I call am back.
I say, “Hello Mama Bisi, wetin happen?”
“Baba Bisi, I don call you tire you no pick”
“If I no pick, you suppose know say I dey drive nah”
“I know”
“Wetin happen wey you call me ti-ti-ti-ti like dis”?
“Noting. I jus wan tell you say my sister call me now, now, now to say im first daughter dey do freedom tomorrow for our town, so I wan begin go Ondo now. In fact, as me and you dey talk so, I dey for motor park wey I wan enter Ondo bus”.
l ask my wife which day e go come back, e tell me say e go dey with im sister and im Mama till next month end. Tori Olorun!
I come talk am for my mind say, which kind wahala be dis? My wife wan travel, e no tell me tele tele. Na as e don reach motor park wia e wan enter bus travel, na im e call me for phone to tell me. Na wa ooo!
Well, if na before, e for pain me. And tank Eledumare say our two woman pikin dem – Bisi and Funke – don travel since last week go Ibadan to find admission for uniservity, after dem don jam JAMB dis time around.
Shey, na only me go come dey house from dat yesterday till next month end wey Bose go come back? No way! I must take my destiny for my hand.
Na im make I write dis vacancy for part-time wife, carry am for on top of my guonguoro with my phone number.
If you get interest or you know sisi wey wan do part-time wife for one month, abeg tell di person to apply. Make di person call me, I go tell am wia and time to see me for one-on-one interview.
But no forgot, any sisi wey get interest for di part-time wife work must get di following:
•Sisi wey no pass 25 years old
•Di two pawpaw for im chest must to tanda paparapa like Standard Bank.
•Im Boys quarter must shoot out for angle 360 degree like bomb wey America use bomb Iran yesterday
•No be short and no be tall
•Must sabi deal gan with alagba like me for bed.
Make we jam again next Saturday.
Tank you
Tank you very much
And tank you very, very much indeed
*Created by Sunny Okim, Oga MAT (Day-to-day experiences of a Lagos taxi driver) is the longest running Pidgin column in Nigeria’s media, since 1994.
