…Continued from last week
Na im di pelenge man wey our union chairman Jimoh bring come our garage for meeting, talk say report get to am for state chapter say all of us dey plan to overthrow our branch chairman Jimoh. Say na me, Oga MAT, be di chief coup plotter wey dey plan to lef my secretary work and become di chairman.
E say from now, e don dissolve our branch exco and e don appoint Jimoh as sole administrator.
I look Idowu, Idowu look Emeka, Emeka look Akpan, Akpan look Mutui.
I ask di pelenge man weda na di message wey e bring come be dat, e say yes, and sit down.
I wan ask am anoder question, na im Mutui push me down. Mutui take over.
Mutui call Jimoh useless man. E say how Jimoh go bring somebody for Ketu garage to come tell us say na ex-officio member for state chapter?
Mutui say e sabi di pelenge man well well, say na agbero for Ketu garage and na so, so Monkey Tail e sabi drink from morning till night, na im make e no get body.
Na so di pelenge man come look ground, im body begin shake like Shakespear.
Emeka stand up to give di agbero blow, all of us hold Emeka make e no kill person. Na so di agbero no wait one second, e run comot, e no even look back.
E come remain only Jimoh and us. Jimoh shame, no be small. E no fit look anybody face. Fowl nyansh don open. Olorun Oba o!
Mutui tell Jimoh say dat ting wey dey hungry am, e no go ever see am.
Mutui ask am say how e go package agbero come make e sack everybody and make am sole administrator of our garage?
Mutui say no be only sole administrator, na Commander-in-Thief Jimoh be.
All of us come laugh, Jimoh no make pim. Ole!!!
Di ting wey pain me pass na dat money for charter wey I miss becos of Commander-in-Thief Jimoh and im agbero di pelenge man.
Make we jam again next week.
Tank you
Tank you very much
And tank you very, very much indeed.
*Created by Sunny Okim, Oga MAT (Day-to-day experiences of a Lagos taxi driver) is the longest running Pidgin column in Nigeria’s media, since 1994.


