…(Continued from last week’s episode)
Di two Soja dem wey come knock my door carry me go di two truck wey dem bring come. Dem bring 10 jerry can down. Dem say na petrol and na me get am. Na so dem drive comot, begin dey go.
I jus tanda for outside dia, everytin come be me like say I dey dream.
Na dat time my torchlight chinko phone begin ring, I look am, I see say na Sikiratu.
I no pick di call becos my head never settle down. Di phone ring again, I no pick. E ring again, I say make I jus pick am hear wetin dis buka girl wan tell me dis morning, weda e no know say I dey for house.
I hear, “Hello my darling Oga MAT, shey Soja dem come your house? Dat petrol na me send dem make dem bring for you. Manage dat 10 jerry can dem, as you kukuma know say petrol price jus dey dance Ajasco – small Dangote go increase di price, small time NNPC go follow increase im own price. I see last week wen you write say you don put ‘For Sale’ for your guonguoro becos you don tire to buy petrol, and even wen you buy am, di petrol go disappear one time – petrol don dey do Abracadabra for Naija be dat. Di ting touch me gan, na im make I say I must do somtin about dat. I say I must support my one and only darling, Oga MAT. Abeg, no ask me how I take do am. Jus use di petrol for your work. No sell your guonguoro make your family no suffer, jor.”
Sikiratu cut di call.
As Sikiratu talk finish, I open my mouth to talk, my mouth no gree open. I shock patapata.
How many Lagos sisi dem fit do dis kind ting? Dia own na give me, give me, give me. Dem no go ever tell you say make you take.
As Sikiratu save my guonguoro, na my life, my family, my work e save so. If tomorrow now I say make I give Sikiratu all my money, shey anybody go complain?
Na dat one be say, you rob my back, I rob your back. Na so dis life suppose be. No be only to collect, collect and collect like tax collector; you no dey ever give. Tori Olorun!
Quick, quick, I run go comot “For Sale” for on top my guonguoro.
See my Siki Babe wey me and im no even do kini before o! If we don do, make I baf naked for bafroom.
Make we jam again next week.
Tank you
Tank you very much
And tank you very, very much indeed.
*Created by Sunny Okim, Oga MAT (Day-to-day experiences of a Lagos taxi driver) is the longest running Pidgin column in Nigeria’s media, since 1994.
