As una no wan ask me how me and Sikiratu waka for Ileya wey jus finish dis week, me sef don put my mouth for permanent position of shut up.
Di only ting I fit talk be say, troughout dat holiday, me and my guonguoro no go any wia for even one minute. I been dey busy dey do sometin somewia with somebody. If you know, you know.
Di only ting now be say, since I resume work after di Ileya, plenty people don come meet me for our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge.
Jumoke wey dey bring sachet ogogoro and Igbo come sell for our union member dem, Aisha wey dey bring hot Agbo and di order sisi with extra-large Ikebe wey dey carry Ewa Agonyi for head come sell (Mobile buka), all of dem don come our garage after di odun.
I no be dia customer o, but all of dem come meet me one by one since dis week after Ileya. Di only ting dem dey ask na, “Oga MAT wia my Sallah meat?”
And na di same ting all di passenger dem wey I don carry dey ask me since I resume work dis week after me and Sikiratu (ah, my mouth shut up!).
Everybody dey ask me for Sallah meat like say I follow kill ram. Wetin concern agbero with overload? For wia I for see N1.2m take buy ram for Ileya wen I no be SINator or member of House of RepresentaTHIEVES? I no even be one of dose people wey dey follow Baba for nyash, sote wen Baba fall down flat for ground finish, dem go talk say Baba dobale or Baba do swagger.
Na im make di ting tire me wen everybody dey ask me for Sallah meat wen dem know di people wey kill one million ram as Constituency Project. Tori Olorun!
Abeg make una helep me warn dem say make dem no ask me for Sallah meat again o.
Make we jam again next week Saturday.
Tank you,
Tank you very much,
And tank you very, very much indeed.
*Created by Sunny Okim, Oga MAT (Day-to-day experiences of a Lagos taxi driver) is the longest running Pidgin column in Nigeria’s media, since 1994.
