I still remember wen we dey for night school for our village for Ogbomoso, as we jus enter class like dis, di teacher go say make we sing national anthem. Na so everybody go sing, “Nigeria we hail thee, our own dear native land…”
Na so we dey do till I enter Standard 5 before I run comot for village come learn mecho work for Lagos in 1965.
Abeg make una no ask me wetin make I run comot for village, I know dey like to remember dat ting wey Arike Papa do me. Di wicked man say na me give im pikin, Arike, belle jus becos me and Arike dey siddon di same table for class. Na only our body dey touch o. Shey, touching body fit give person belle? Arike Papa wan take African Insurance finish me, na im I japa. Olorun Oba o!
Anyway sha, dat na tori for anoder day, dat is, if una don forgot di full tori…
As I talk am teletele, na wen we sing “Nigeria we hail thee” finish, na im our teacher go begin teach us for class.
As I come Lagos, small time I hear say dem don change di national anthem to one disco song like dat wey dem go begin nack drum before dem go begin sing, Arise kini kan, kini kan. Na dat Arise dem don dey sing till now.
E never reach one year wey Baba enter Aso Rock, di national anthem don dey change small small again.
Since dis year start, di only ting wey you go hear for everybody mouth na, “Ebi npa wa o!”
I first hear am for my passenger mouth wen dis year jus show first. Di passenger say make I carry am for drop go Alapere. As e jus enter my guonguoro, e siddon for back seat. Na im we begin dey go, small time I hear am shout, “Ebi npa wa o!” I look back to see who my passenger dey talk with, wen be say na only im enter my guonguoro for our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge. I see say na phone call e make.
Since dat time, na so, so “Ebi npa wa o!” I dey hear for people mouth for Lagos.
Last week wey I carry passenger for drop go Idumota, na im woss pass. All dose Area Boy dem for Isale Eko, if any small Go Slow dey, na so dem go waka come nearly put dia face inside any motor wey dem see, dem go talk say, “Abeg give us sometin make we take buy food, ebi npa wa”. Tori Olorun! If you wind down your glass window, na you sabi.
Dis morning, I come dey talk am for my mind say, e be like say dis new song, “Ebi npa wa o!” don use style take over from “Arise…” small small, since Baba enter Aso Rock. Na im make I ask weda or wedant Baba wan turn “Ebi npa wa o!” to di new national anthem.
If na so, make Baba kukuma put am for oyibo make everybody fit sing am say: “Hungry don kill us o!”
Make we jam again on Saturday.
Tank you
Tank you very much
And tank you very, very much indeed.
*Created by Sunny Okim, Oga MAT (Day-to-day experiences of a Lagos taxi driver) is the longest running Pidgin column in Nigerian media, since 1994.